Lu Ten: Expert Baby Sitter!
by ScorpioGirl1987
Summary: Pre-banishment. Takes place when Zuko is a baby. After the palace baby-sitter canceled on Ursa, she enlists Lu Ten to baby sit her one year old son Zuko. Can Lu Ten handle the task? Chaos and insanity ensues! Rated for strong language. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

1**Ok...I couldn't resist writing a fanfic like this, and there are hardly any Lu Ten stories. This takes place when Zuko is a year and a half old. Considering the age difference between Iroh and Ozai, I'm gonna say that Lu Ten is 15. Ursa and Ozai are 19, and Iroh is 40.**

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It was a bright, sunny day in the Fire Nation royal city. Everyone was content with doing their thing, and-

"WHAT?!"

...Ok, maybe not everyone.

Ursa groaned angrily and headed to Ozai's suite. "Ozai, we have a problem."

'_And it took you a year and a half to realize that?'_ Ozai thought to himself. "Yes, Ursa?"

"The palace baby-sitter just cancelled. Apparently, she's sick and can't baby-sit Zuko while we go to this charity thing!" Ursa sighed and rubbed her eyes in frustration.

"Well, we can't take him with us." Ozai said. "My father is way too busy being Fire Lord to spend two seconds with him..." He sighed. "I really don't want to miss this event, Ursa."

"I know." Ursa replied. She bit her lip in thought. "Maybe...do you know if Lu Ten is going to the event?"

"I don't know. Why?"

Ursa slowly smiled as she came up with a backup plan...

XXX

"So...you want me to baby-sit Zuko while you, Uncle Ozai, and my dad go to this charity thing?"

Ursa found her nephew walking towards the kitchens. They were walking along the hallway.

"Yes." Ursa nodded. "Please, Lu Ten? This event is really important to me and Ozai. The palace baby-sitter cancelled on me, and I really need help. Plus, I'd be willing to pay you ten gold pieces an hour."

'_Well, I do need money...'_ Lu Ten thought to himself. He smiled. "Sure. I'll baby-sit Zuko."

Ursa beamed and hugged Lu Ten. "Aww, thanks, Lu Ten! You're the best nephew in the world!"

Lu Ten blushed. "All right. Too much love/. Though you're right- I am."

XXX

Ozai was skeptical at having his nephew baby-sit his son. "You sure Lu Ten is...experienced at this?"

"Well, he spends a lot of time with Zuko." Ursa explains. "Besides, it's only for a few hours. It's not like it's a few years."

"Thank Agni for that."

Iroh walked into the room they were in. "Hello, Ursa. Ozai."

"Hello, Iroh." Ursa smiled. "Did Lu Ten tell you about his new job?" She joked.

"Why, yes, he did." Iroh smiled. "I think he'll do a wonderful job at baby-sitting his cousin."

XXXX

A few hours later, Iroh, Ozai, and Ursa got ready to leave.

"Now...Zuko doesn't need a bath, but he needs to be fed." Ursa was telling Lu Ten. "He's playing in his playpen right now. If he gets bored, there are toys in a basket by his pen. Food is in the kitchen. The cooks already prepared for Zuko's dinner. He needs to be in bed by the time we get back. Got everything?"

"Zuko doesn't need a bath, he's playing in his playpen, toys are by the playpen, dinner in the kitchen, in bed by the time you get back." Lu Ten repeated. He nodded.

Ursa smiled. "You're all set! Have fun, and we'll see you in a few hours."

"Good luck, Son." Iroh called over his shoulder. Lu Ten waved the trio off. He sighed and headed to Zuko's playroom.

"Hi, Zuko. Remember me?" Lu Ten said in a baby voice. Zuko smiled and giggled. He threw a stuffed dragon at Lu Ten's head and laughed harder. Lu Ten scowled. "Oh, you think that's funny?" He picked up the dragon. "Well, you're not getting this back until you say sorry." He joked.

'_Man, this baby-sitting thing is cake! I might make a job out of this...'_ Lu Ten walked over and sat in front of Zuko's playpen. Zuko cooed and reached out or his stuffed animal. Lu Ten held it further away. "Uh-uh. Not until you apologize. Ahhh...I don't know why you love dragons so much. The last dragon was killed by my father like twenty years ago. Little fucker had it coming." He chuckled.

"Fug...her." Zuko repeated in a slow and tiny voice.

Lu Ten looked up, surprised. Did he just say what he thought he said?

"Fuh...ker." Zuko said again.

Lu Ten gaped and stared. He _did_ say that...

'_Damn it, I am so screwed!'_

Little did the Fire Prince know, his troubles had just began.

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**HOLY MACKERAL! XD Read and review! No flames, please!**


	2. Chapter 2

1**I'm glad you guys like this fic! **

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Lu Ten stared at Zuko fo a minute. "Um...no! You don't want to say that! That's a bad word." Lu Ten frowned and shook his head.

"Fuh-ker." Zuko said again.

"Sucker! Suh-ker." Lu Ten tried to make a desperate attempt at teaching Zuko a new word. Lu Ten picked up a pacifier and sucked on it to demonstrate. "See? Sucker!"

"Fuh-ker." Zuko giggled at his ability to speak now.

Lu Ten spit out the pacifier and looked around the room. He spotted two small portraits of Ursa and Ozai. Smiling, he got up ad grabbed the portraits and brought them to Zuko,.

"Look who this is!" Lu ten said in his baby voice. "Mama and Dada. Can you say 'Mama'?"

"Fucker!" Zuko exclaimed as he pointed to his father's portraits.

"...Yeah, you got that right..." Lu Ten muttered darkly. His uncle was a freaking forty year old in a nineteen year old's body. He was so stiff and humorless.

"Fucker!" Zuko exclaimed again.

Lu Ten just stared at his cousin. "You're never going to give up on that, are you?"

Zuko shook his head. Lu Ten sighed and got up to put the portraits back. Lu Ten stood there and sighed heavily.

'_What am I gonna do? Ozai and Ursa will kill me for teaching their son profanity!'_ The Fire Prince thought worriedly. Lu Ten heard a click behind him and turned around. Zuko was nowhere to be seen. He somehow managed to get out of his playpen and left the room. Lu Ten's eyes widened in horror and he ran from the room. "Zzuko?" He called out. "Zxuko! Damn it..." Lu Ten ran down the hallways looking for Zuko.

A few turns later, Lu Ten almost ran into a servant. "Aah!"

"Pardon me, Sir, but a friend of yours stopped by to visit you." The servant bowed.

"Lu Ten looked around the servant at a tall, smiling girl of fifteen.

"Kairi? What are you doing here?" Lu Ten asked his best friend. "I told you I c can't hang out today. I'm baby-sitting my cousin."

"I know." Kairi answered. "I just figured you need help."

Lu Ten sighed in defeat. "I _do_ need help. Zuko got out of his playpen, and is now running around the freaking palace!"

"Okay. We'll find him better if we split up." Kairi suggested.

"All right." They split up and ran to find Zuko.

About twenty minutes later, Kairi found himself in the east wing where Ozai and Ursa resided. She heard giggling and a thud and went to investigate. She gasped.

"Um...Pince Lu Ten?" Kairi called over her shoulder. She saw Lu Ten run past another hallway. "Lu Ten!"

Lu Ten stopped, then ran back to Kairi. "Yeah?"

"I found your cousin." Kairi said simply. She pointed to Zuko, who was now covered in ink. The walls were splattered with inky handprints and smears. The entire room was trashed.

Lu Ten paled and slowly pointed to the mess. "My...uncle...is...going...to kill me..."

Kairi sighed and walked over to Zuko and picked him up. "Hey, Prince Zuko. Let's get you cleaned up, huh?"

"Fucker!" Zuko exclaimed.

Kairi gaped and turned around to stare at Lu Ten in shock.

Lu Ten shrugged. "It just slipped out."

"Uh...well, did you try to teach him a new word?" Kairi asked.

"Yes, but that didn't work." Lu ten replied.

Kairi just shook her head slowly. "All right, well...let's get this little ankle-biter cleaned up."

"Yeah..."

The duo managed to clean Zuko up without incident. It was dinnertime, so he trio headed t the kitchen and dining hall.

"Wow! I have never seen this part of the palace before!" Kairi exclaimed, excited.

"Well, now you have!" Lu ten set Zuko in his high chair. Unfortunately, when Lu Ten had his back turned, Zuko managed to wriggle out of his chair and fled the room.

"ZUKO!"

Lu Ten and Kairi chased the toddler out of the dining hall. As soon as they turned around a corner, Lu Ten slipped on a puddle of some liquid and fell. Kairi gasped.

"Oh my God! Are you okay?" She asked her friend.

Lu Ten groaned in pain as he sat up. "Please tell me that was water..."

Kairi sniffed the liquid and wrinkled her nose. "I'm afraid not."

"Ugggggh!" Lu Ten stood up and walked away. "I smell like crap!"

"No freaking kidding." Kairi agreed.

"Where's Zuko?" Lu ten wondered. They kept walking down the halls. Lu Ten spotted Zuko going through the curtains of...the...throne room... "AAAHHH!" Lu Ten sprinted towards the throne room hoping to Agni that his grandfather wasn't in there or doing something important.

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	3. Chapter 3

1**Just a heads-up, this story might be less than 5 chapters long.**

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"I don't care about your faltering business." Azulon was saying to a peasant. "My tax deductions are final and are for the war effort!"

They were interrupted by a giggle. The peasant turned around to see Zuko walking clumsily towards the throne area.

"Oh, don't mind him. He's just my grandson." Azulon told the peasant.

Lu Ten ran in, gasping, and grabbed Zuko. "Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry. It won't happen again. Carry on!"

Lu Ten ran from the throne room without waiting for a reply from his grandfather and sighed. Kairi met him and was not failing to hide her laughter.

"Oh, shut up." Lu Ten muttered. He stomped back towards the kitchen to feeds Zuko.

XXX

Lu Ten managed to set the struggling baby into his high chair and tied his bib on. Zuko squealed and giggled as the older Fire Prince grabbed Zuko's baby food.

"Okay, Zuko ." Lu Ten said in a baby voice. "Are you ready for your num-nums?"

Kairi raised an eyebrow. "'Num-nums'?"

"Got any better ideas?" Lu Ten asked. He opened the jar and grabbed a tiny spoon and scooped some mashed vegetable s on it and aimed for Zuko's mouth. "Open wide. Here comes the train!" Lu Ten brought the spoonful of food to Zuko 's mouth. Zuko giggled and grabbed the spoon and fliubg the food at Lu ten's face. The baby laughed even harder. Lu Ten growled. "What is it with you and throwing things?!"

Zuko shrank back aws his lower lip quivered. Lu Ten;'s eyes widened. "No! Don't cry! Uh..." Lu Ten made a funny face/. "Look at the funny face! Do-do-do-do-do. Look at the funny face. Look at the funny face!"

Zuko stopped quivering and giggled. Lu Ten sighed with relief. Kairi chuckled. "Nice save."

"Thanks."

The two managed to feed Zuko, once again, without incident. Now, all that was left was...

"Bedtime!" Lu Ten announced. He picked Zuko up and carried him to his bedroom. Just as they entered, Lu Ten felt something wet against Zuko's diaper. "He made a deposit diaper-wised, didn't he?" Lu Ten asked his friend.

Kairi nodded. Lu Ten sighed again. "Well, I guess we'll have to change his diaper, then."

"Future Fire Lord say what?" Kairi asked dully.

"Come on, Kairi, you said you'd help!" Lu Ten begged.

Kairi sighed. "Oh, all right."

They both changed Zuko's diaper, and Zuko stopped crying.

"All better!" Lu Ten said cheerfully. "Now we just need to changed Zuko in his bedclothes."

"Ok. Where are they?" Kairi asked.

Lu Ten just stared. "I..don't know."

"Oh, real helpful!" Kairi rolled her eyes.

"Hey, this is my first time babysitting him!" Lu Ten defended himself. He set Zuko down. "All right. We'll find his bedclothes faster if we both look."

The two friends started looking in Zuko's closet and beaureu. Neither of them noticed Zuko slipping out of the room yet again unhtil the door slammed shut. The two teens whirled around and gasped.

"NOT AGAIN!" Lu Ten yelled in frustration. He groaned. "My aunt is gonna have a cowhippo! And a sheeppig, and a sheepgoat if Zuko's not in bed by the time she and my father and uncle return!"

Kairi looked out the window. "Well, you better hurry. Their carriage just pulled up."

Lu Ten's mouth dropped open. "AAH! Could this get any worse?!" The Fire Prince sprinted towards the door...and slammed into it. He wobbled around. "Okay...that hurt..."

XXX

"Well, that was a waste of time."

Ozai, Iroh, and Ursa were walking through the palace gates. It was Ozai who spoke.

"I disagree, brother." Iroh responded. "I found it quite entertaining."

"That's because you were the source of entertainment." Ozai pointed out.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Yes."

Ursa gasped.m "Ozai! That's not a nice thing to say to your brother."

"What are you, my mother?" Ozai rolled his eyes.

"Hey, that rhymed!" Ioh exclaimed.

"So it did!" Ursa and Iroh laughed. The trio opened he door and walked inside. They heard giggling. Zuko sprinted past the trio.

"Was that...?" Ursa asked.

"ZUKO! GET BACK HERE!" Lu Ten yelled as he ran past.

"And that..." Iroh said.

Kairi also ran past.

"Kairi!" srsa exclaimed.

Kairi cringed and turned around. "Hey, Prince Iroh, Prince Ozai, and Princess Ursa! How's it going?"

"Good." Ursa replied. "Um...was that Zuko and Lu Ten just now?"

"Yes...yes, it was." Kairi replied. She quickly came up with a story. "You see..." She sighed and gave in. "We couldn't find his bedclothes, Lu Ten put him down, and Zuko escaped from his nursery."

"I see." Ursa said. "Well...I might as well relieve Lu Ten from Zuko."

"I'll come with you." Ozai said.

"Me too." Iroh followed the three.

"So, how did everything go tonight?" Ursa asked.

"Um..." Kairi said hesitantly. "Pretty much okay. Zuko said his first word."

Ursa gasped excitedly. "Really? Oh my God, what is it?"

"Is it 'Dada'?" Ozai asked eagerly.

"Nope." Kairi answered.

"'Mama'?" Ursa asked.

Kairi shook her head. "Nope."

"Tea?" Iroh asked.

"Nope."

"Oh, come on, Kairi, what was it?" Ursa asked.

"Um...I'll just let you be surprised."

The foursome were now outside headed towards the turtleduck pond. They arrived just in time to see Zuko climb up on the edge of the bridge going over the pond.

Ursa gasped. "Zuko!"

Lu Ten was at the base of the bridge. He walked towards Zuko slowly. "Zuko...I'm warning you. Do not jump off- I'm, talking to a baby."

"Ozai! Do something!" Ursa exclaimed.

"What?" Ozai put his hands up.

"I don't know. You're the father!"

"Well, you're the mother!"

"Oh, for God's sake." Kairi sighed and marched into the pond and towards the bridge.

Zuko wobbled once and fell off the bridge. Ursa screamed and ran towards the pond. Lu Ten caught Zuko before hitting the water. Ursa stopped at the pond's edge. Ozai bumped into Ursa, and Iroh bumped into Ozai. The force caused Ursa tro topple into the water. Ursa resurfaced and gasped fo air. Ozai and Iroh helped the princess out of the water. Kairi followed suit.

Iroh tried his best to conceal his laughter. "Well, that was eventful."

"Yeah!" Ozai said sarcastically.

Lu Ten walked towards the group holding Zuko. "Hey, everybody. How was the charity event thing?"

"Your father was the life of the party." Ozai said dully.

Ursa took Zuko from Lu Ten and hugged him. "Oh! How's my baby boy?"

"Fucker!" Zuko exclaimed, pointing at Ozai.

Lu Ten gulped as three pairs of eyes turned to him.

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**Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh...Lu Ten is busteeeeeeeeeeeeddddddd!! XD**


	4. Chapter 4

1**HOLY CROW!**

**...**

**Sorry for the wait.**

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Ursa glowered at Lu Ten. "Did Zuko say what I nthink he said?"

Lu Ten swallowed. "Um...yes?"

"You taught my son a SWEAR WORD?!" Ursa shrieked. "How could you?!"

"It was an accident!" Lu Ten protested. "I was talking to myself, and it slipped out!"

"Well, did you try teaching him a new word?" Iroh asked.

"Yes, but he won't freaking give up!" Lu Ten answered.

"We leave this palace for three short hours, and you teach my son a swear word?" Ozai seethed. "Dammit, Lu Ten! Howe stupid are you?"

"Whoa, hey!" Iroh stepped in. "Ozai, do not attack my son like that. It was just an accident!"

Ozai simmered and muttered to himself. Ursa took a few deep breaths and calmed down. "Fine. It was a mistake. You didn't know he'd pick up wso easily."She sighed. "Did everything else do smoothly?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Lu Ten replied. "Except...um...well..." He chuckled nervously. "Zuko kind of barged in on Fire Lord Azulon, but I got Zuko out of the throne room before he caused trouble."

Ursa closed her eyes and groaned softly. "Just for that, I'm only giving you five gold pieces."

"He shouldn't be getting any gold pieces at all!" Ozai interjected. "Seeing as he did a crappy job babysitting!"

"Hey, I fed and changed Zuko, and I made sure he was safe!" LuTen defended himself. "Have _you_ done those things, Ozai?"

"That's _Uncle_ Ozai to you, buddy!" Ozai pointed a warning finger at Lu ten.

"Okay, Ozai, that's enough." Ursa chided. "Zuko's fed, safe, and happy. Let's just leave it at that, okay?"

Ozai growled and stormed off. Ursa turned back to Lu Ten. "I'll give you your payment as soon as I put Zuko down." Ursa followed Ozai.

Iroh sighed and turned to Lu Ten. "Well, Son, I'd say you had a successful evening."

"Yeah!" Lu Ten said sarcastically. He started headed towards the castle. Iroh followed.

"Lu Ten, it was your first babysitting job. It's not supposed to be easy. You'll get better!"

"Yeah, well, I don't know if I'll be able to sit for Zuko any more." Lu Ten argued. "He's way too much of a handfull!"

"Hey, now," Iroh raised an eyebrow. "Is that the talk of a real soldier?"

Lu Ten sighed and rolled his eyes. "No..."

"Okay, good." Iroh clapped Lu Ten's shoulder. "Well, I think I'll have a cup of tea before I turn in. Join me?"

"Don't I always?" They both chuckled. "You know, in all the craziness...I'm sure I'll find some way to laugh at this adventure."

""I'm sure you will." Iroh encouraged.

"But I feel like there's something else I needed to fix, though..." Lu Ten furrowed his brow in thought. "I just can't remember what it was."

"LU TEN!" Ozai screamed from his den.

Both Lu Ten and Iroh froze. Iroh turned to his son. "You let Zuko make a mess in Ozai's den, didn't you?"

"Yes." Lu Ten said in a small voice.

"Run." Iroh instructed. "I'll hold him off."

"Thanks.," Lu Ten smiled, then he sprinted off towards his bedchamber.

Iroh shook his head and smiled. He then braced himself for his raging, fast-approaching younger brother.

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**THE END!**

**Yeah, I know it's short. Sorry. But it had to end somehow.**


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